The past two days my body revolted against me with sickness. I don't get sick very often, so when I do, i kinda of don't know how to react. I spent allot of yesterday just listening. Not talking, not thinking but listening to my body. Where does it hurt, what can i do to make that better.

It has been a rough couple of weeks at work. This recession business has everyone all in a fuss. They are letting fear hurt them long before the backlash of money does. Needless to say fear has entered my work environment. There is a new sense of Big Brother, and constant concern about how you, personally are affecting our bottom line.

The experience is changing two things in me. One my faith in my company, given the amount of ludicrous bullshit that is coming out of these fears and two a further realization that i need to rely on myself. Not that i haven't been relying on myself previoulsy, but i have been seeing the world as a safer place. A place where if i did my job and worked hard they would know that and we would be fine. A world where i didn't need to toot my horn too loudly, or play ridiculous games to get noticed. But ladies and gentlemen I don't not live in that world.

So I'm apadting and changing and trying not to be to bitter. Beacuse to much bitterness will make you toxic.